Mud Baths

Last Thursday we went to Lagoon (first time for my boys) with the Allens.

The kids rode rides all day and Jenn and I enjoyed the air conditioned Winnebago they had recently purchase.

In my opinion, that is the best way to do Lagoon. :)

Friday, Dad and Roe joined us all at Pineview Reservoir.

We spent the entire day in the sun and the water.

Scott ended the day treating those willing to MUD BATHS!!!

Saturday, football try outs began for Mackay...

Luckily this kid can sleep anywhere!!

He's Up & Riding!!

Kenzie waited until she was 8 years old.

Mackay was 7.

Hayden is 6 and decided it was finally time.

(Why my kids get nervous to ride a bike, I'll never know)

After years of begging him to "Just Try"...

he decided to take his dad up on the offer and "Just Try".

After just a few "tries" with Aaron holding on. . .

He was Up & Riding!!

Way to Go Hayden!!!

Little Reminders

My sister Amanda shared this with me.

I love the little reminders.

I have always love the way MUSIC makes me feel.

In primary, my favorite song the children sing is "If I Listen with my Heart".

It always amazes me how much impact a song can have.

I find I listen to lessons or read in the scriptures and church magazines, but I don't really internalize it until it is put to music - I guess that is "listening with my heart".

As I listened to this song, I am reminded that I am not ALONE.

I know I wait to ask for help.

I figure He only has time to help with the "big" stuff.

But I am not alone and He is waiting for me to ask for help, even with the small things.

Thanks Manda for sharing! I needed it! :)

Self Hair Cuts

I remember Kenzie cutting her own hair when she was 2 1/2 years old.

I was showing my house (trying to sell it at the time) to a couple and found Kenz was sitting on the ground of her bedroom cutting her Barbie's hair and her own hair.

She was lucky there were people around.

Hayden has cut his hair too.

For some reason I have no memory of why he did it.

But it was a long time ago and since he is 6 now, I am sure he was probably 2 or 3.

Mackay had yet to experience the "Self Hair Cut".

Now that he is 9 YEARS OLD, I guess he felt it was time......

He got contacts last week.

He has done great at getting them in and out by himself.

I am thinking that he had dirty fingers and put his contacts in.

He said he felt like his hair was getting in his eyes.

(I remember having a "fuzzy" on my contacts and feeling like I had hair or something in my eye.)

He decided to just cut the piece that was getting in his eyes...

with KITCHEN SHEARS non the less.

I drove home from a doctor's appt listening to a sweet phone message from my 9 year old:

"Um, Mom... I did something bad. I cut my hair. It was just a little and then a lot. If you need to ground me, I'll understand."

After hearing the message my goal when I got home... try NOT TO YELL.

I did great at first, asking if he had gum in his hair - "no"

or if he got food or glue in his hair - "no".

Finally repeating the words "so NOTHING was in your hair?? You just cut it because you thought it was in your eyes?" "Yes".

I showed him how his hair isn't even close to his eyes...

My words got a little bit louder... and my breathing a little bit deeper - I didn't YELL!

We all got in the car (it was Wednesday and we were all heading to the cemetery for a picnic).

After our picnic we drove straight to Super Cuts.

Usually I am to tell the stylist:

"a #2 around the sides and a 1/2 inch off the top" per Aaron's request.

The lady HAD to do a #1 everywhere just to make it even... Whoa....

He came out and asked "What have they done to me?"

I replied, "they just finished the job you started. But your will be nice and cool for summer and there will be lots of extra space in your football helmet."

I don't think he will ever cut his own hair again.

A Picnic with Mom

Three Years...

A picnic at the cemetery.

It isn't a celebration - that's for sure.

It's just nice to be with those who understand.

It's a weird day. We were all a little quiet and reserved.

Didn't cry. Didn't laugh. Didn't even reminisce much.

Just spent an hour with those that could make it.

We missed Manda (in Indiana), Adam (in DC), Dad (at work) and, OF COURSE, Mom. :)

July 26, 2008

My mom died 3 years ago tomorrow. It feels like forever.

Although she died on July 27th, it is July 26th that I find myself a little more reflective, somber, and quiet.

On July 26, 2008, I spent a very peaceful day with my mom.

She didn't talk much. It was like she was in her own world and wouldn't let us in. Josh & my dad were in and out of her room. Occasionally she would look up to see who was with her. Some time during the day, all three of us were in the room, quietly doing different things. My dad sat in a rocking chair, mid room, reading through papers. Josh was near the window typing on the computer that was set up on a card table. I was sitting on a stool rubbing her feet. My mom looked up and scanned the room until she saw my dad. She looked directly at him and smiled, a small but familiar smile, almost to say "thank you" or "I'm sorry" and "I love you". He returned the smile and she put her head back down. I looked over at my dad and he smiled at me, reassuring me of what I just witnessed. Josh & I exchanged the same smile. We had all seen that look before from her. If we were sad, frustrated, or a little defeated, she would put her fist to her sides and shrug and give that same look or smile. It is my last memory of my mom as MY MOM. It is something I will never forget.

Although it was a hard day, it was a special day for me. I was so grateful to have spent the entire day in her presence. I recall trying to memorize her. At 4:30 pm, Jenn & Manda had arrived. Aaron told me I could stay but I knew it was time for me to leave. One by one, my kids came in to hug her and tell her they loved her. We aren't big "huggers" in my family but as I hugged her and cried, I didn't want to let go. I whispered "I love you". I would have given anything to hear her say "Bye hon" like she used to do on the phone or when I would leave her home, but all she said was "Ok". I knew it would be the last time I would hear my mom's voice. And it was.

Life goes on. I was told it would and it has. But each year. during this week, as I go about doing the "normal" life stuff - thoughts of my mom are close. Although I can't see her, or hear her, or even feel her, I know she isn't far. I know she is still aware of me and all of her children and grandchildren. I wish she was still here with us - there are so many things I need to tell her and lots of questions I need her to answer. I miss her so much. But, I will forever be grateful for the last day I spent with my mom.

PRK Experience

Lately, I feel like I can't see.

My night vision has always been bad but it is now worse.

Aaron offered LASIKS. His exact words were "Just say the word".

He knows I get a little nervous when it comes to doctors -not sure where I get that fear from... :) maybe my mother.

LASIKS was so easy for Aaron and Jenn.

They went in - Had it done - They could See Immediately!!

Unfortunately, I was told by two different places that LASIKS wasn't an option for me.

I would have to do PRK.

The doctors described the difference and that PRK wasn't a "walk in the park."

Everyone else shared their nightmare story.

Needless to say, I was a little scared - more like A LOT scared.

But everyone told me their nightmare story about having a baby and it was still worth it in the end ... so I figured PRK would be the same.

I decided to "bite the bullet" and just do it.

Friday morning 9:00 am - showed up at Lasiks Plus and surgery was done.

Wore beautiful eye shield the entire day and tried to sleep.

(No Pictures of me with the eye shields, I know better then that ;)

Friday afternoon still doing great. Couldn't see very well but no pain.

Saturday was a bit harder but not too bad.

Saturday night was NOT FUN!! Shed a few tears out of frustration.

Sunday I was ready to shoot myself!! Worse day of all. Lortab didn't touch it!

Monday - today - I still can't see very well (sort of like looking through a kalidiscope - I think this is probably what "druggies" see when they are high. Why would anyone do this for fun??)

Pain is much better today- then again it is only 9:15 am.

My poor husband and kids.

They have been so good to just chill all weekend.

I have mother's guilt.

Feeling selfish for ruining their long weekend...

Thursday is Stake Lagoon Day.

They have NEVER been to Lagoon.

I will make it up to them then. :)