Fatherhood
Given:
June 16, 2019 Draper 11th Ward
Introduction
Father’s Day:
I want to wish a Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, sons, uncles, grandpas, friends and neighbors here today which includes my own dad.
While growing up, my dad’s career kept him busy, yet he never missed a dance concert and always made time for daddy-daughter dates. He was there when I became a missionary, a wife, and he actually beat Aaron to the hospital when I became a mom.
He taught me to value education, be honest, “to not sweat the small stuff” and to “enjoy the journey”. Over the years I have learned a lot of valuable lessons from my dad. But recently, with losing my mom to cancer and some health challenges, my dad has taught me more about strength, humility, faith, and family. I am so grateful for my dad.
Today I want to speak about the influence of a Righteous Father. We are surrounded by amazing dads. I have even asked a few of your children to share some of the ways you have influenced them.
But before I go on, I know there are some in the congregation today who have already raised their families. There may be some who are not married and others who are married but unable to have children, and for whom discussions about parenthood may be difficult. But in preparing today’s talk, I know that gospel principles are eternal principles that are applicable now and in the hereafter.
A Father’s Duty
Men are given a lot of responsibilities. First lady Barbara Bush spoke at a university graduation and said,
“As important as your obligation as a doctor, lawyer, or a business leader will be, you are a human being first, and those human connections with your spouse and family are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, winning one more verdict, closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with your spouse and your child. Our success as a society depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens inside your house.”
President David O. McKay’s counsel that “No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home.”
President Harold B. Lee said; “The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do, will be the work you do within the walls of your own home.”
Where else can we have a greater influence than in the lives of our own family members?
The Bible mentions the word ‘father’ 1,126 times. The scriptures are filled with fatherly examples. I want to share three.
II. Jarius
The first is Jarius. We know that his daughter is dying and as a ruler of the local synagogue, Jarius knew that approaching Christ could cost him everything. But he willingly risked it all to save his daughter. No career, position, or paycheck was more important to Jarius. He humbly and faithfully sought the Savior.
Seeking Christ, Jarius knelt before him and openly professed his belief in front of the crowds. He knew the Savior could save his daughter. He had a testimony of the Savior’s power and expressed it.
Yet, something interesting happened. The Savior appeared to get sidetracked when a woman touched the hem of his garment. Stopping, Christ dealt with her problem first. And while He helped the woman, word came to Jarius that his beloved daughter had died. Jarius could have turned on the Savior; but he chose to trust Him. Despite his loss, Jarius still brought Christ into his home, even as others "laughed him to scorn” (Mark 5:40).
This father knew that the salvation of his family depended on the Lord, and he was right.
From this story we learn that fathers should never be ashamed to share their testimonies.
We have many in our ward who bear testimony of Christ even in simple conversations.
Matt Fankhauser is one. His son, Gabe, shared that “his dad is willing to bear testimony and share spiritual experiences with others and uplifts them by doing so.” He said; “I think it is powerful that he’s not afraid to bear testimony and let his emotions show, which I feel is a trait I have inherited from him.”
My youngest brother wrote a letter to my dad a few years ago. In it he said; “I came home from an interview with my bishop discouraged about the church. I felt at that moment that the church wasn’t for me. I could see mom’s panic when I was explaining to her what was going on in my head, but then you took me into the living room and simply shared your testimony. I have heard your testimony many times before, but that time really sparked a change. Thank you for having the courage to talk to your son about something so important. It really changed my life.”
Spoken and emotional testimonies are powerful influences on families. A father’s testimony can change lives and even bring salvation.
III. The Father of the Prodigal Son
Second, the father of the prodigal son. We know that his son requested his inheritance early, yet this father did not take offense. Rather he lovingly watched and waited for his son’s return.
When the defeated son began the humiliating task of returning and ‘was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).
Not a single word of reprimand or berating, no rehashing of bitter words and feelings. Instead, he received his son with joy.
This caused a new problem for the father. The eldest son, feeling jealous, now refused to join them. What did the father do? He went to him and said, “Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.” He considered it a privilege to meet each of his children where they were, expressing love.
When choices tear families apart, a righteous father should be the first to express love and extend support and acceptance. He should make that difficult phone call or go knock on that door and embrace his children with heartfelt love and acceptance, not criticizing words or lectures.
Extending love doesn’t always have to happen in times of turmoil. It can be done everyday in the simplest acts, yet can have a lasting impression.
When Kelcie Cheney Morgan was preparing to leave for her mission in Paraguay, her dad took her to breakfast. Near by was a table filled with missionaries. When Rob went to pay for their breakfast, he also put money toward the missionaries’s table. Kelcie said; “he gave me a big hug afterwards, with tears in his eyes, he said ‘I hope that people in Paraguay show you love too.’ I could feel my dad’s prayers through out my mission and was blessed to meet wonderful members who extended love to me, just as my dad had to the elders at breakfast. I will always be grateful for his example of love, even to complete strangers.”
IV. Alma the Younger
And finally, Alma the Younger. After addressing his son’s sins, he reminded him of his worth and the importance of repentance. He wanted his son to know, understand, and embrace the Savior’s love and great plan. We read in Alma 42:29 this father’s advice,
“And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance”.
From this story we learn that fathers should instill hope.
One of Richard Mackerell’s greatest attributes it just this - instilling hope. His son, Travis, said; “I have never known my dad to be a negative person. Whenever I’ve come to him with a problem, he always sees the silver lining on how the experience will be for the best. Having this attribute, I believe, is key to enduring to the end. I hope to magnify this in my own life.”
Teaching
President Joseph F. Smith said; “If father’s have the Spirit of the Lord with them in the performance of their temporal duties, ...they will have faith to teach them the principles of life and set before them a proper example...”
Teaching principles of the gospel and in life isn’t always easy. Rachel Tripp Thompson said her dad “made things like FHE and scripture study enjoyable... even when he would wake us up every morning to squeeze in a chapter of the Book of Mormon. It never felt like a chore. He explained hard concepts by connecting it to our lives. My dad is a great example to me.”
We have a wonderful bishop who has taught and influenced many. His son, Cooj, says “his dad always emphasizes the importance of hard work and self-reliance, both in life and in the gospel. He always taught that we must work to receive our own testimony of the gospel and if we want something in life we have to work to get it.”
Conclusion
As I said before, men have a lot of responsibilities. Elder Holland, said “Brethren, we all know fatherhood is not an easy assignment, ...We must keep trying, reaching, praying, listening.”
These three fathers in the scriptures, sought to teach, to testify, instill hope, extend love and acceptance, and bring salvation to their families. All were wonderful examples, yet they were merely exhibiting characteristics of the greatest father of all, our Eternal Father, who does all of these things for us every day.
Through prophets, our Heavenly Father testifies of His love and teaches us eternal truths.
I hope that we will honor the righteous men that surround us, not just today but always. It is my prayer, that we will strive to allow our Heavenly Father to teach, to strengthen, and extend love and hope to each one of us... in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
