Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts

September 17, 2022

My Dad's Funeral Talk

 Dad’s Funeral Talk

GOD'S PLAN FOR HIS CHILDREN


Intro:


My dads first love was Family - his sweetheart and his children. The next was his Faith. And I’m pretty sure right after that would be Music. 


I feel lucky my daughter Kenzie was able to develop a close relationship with her grandpa because of music. He was her biggest fan and her greatest mentor. 


As a missionary my dad got to travel his beloved England singing with a group of missionaries who became lifelong friends. Together they created the most beautiful version of one of his favorite hymns - Come Come Ye Saints. He loved the lyrics of this song and always sang it with meaning and conviction.


Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear

But with joy wend your way

Though hard to you this journey may appear

Grace shall be as your day


Although this recent journey with my dad and especially this week and today feels hard, we feel joy and rejoice in the sweet reunion that is taking place in heaven. 


I. Missions bonded us.


Growing up  I had a lot in common with my mom. We were both blonde haired, blue eyed ballerinas. People would often say, “you look just like your mom” or “you’re a little Kathy Bean”.  It was the Best compliment.  


My dad was brilliant and obedient and driven and- I was not. But when I turned 21, I decided to serve mission for our church. It was the first time, I felt I had something in common with my dad.  Our missions created a special bond between us.

Although my mom was a very spiritual and religious person, it was my dad that helped me understand the gospel. My dad taught me the importance of studying and “digging deep” into spiritual things. I inherited my mom’s blind faith but my dad taught me to learn my religion and gain a testimony for myself. He taught me to depend on the spirit, to develop the “art of conversation” and to seek out the “honest in heart”.   


Every lesson or talk I have ever prepared was always proof-read and approved by him. I will always cherish the times I spent learning from him and talking about gospel truths. His testimony was strong. He loved his Savior Jesus Christ. He especially loved being a missionary and sharing the joy the gospel brings. So today, I would like to honored him by giving a talk HE helped prepare many years ago.


II. Death is Precious


The night before Jesus was crucified, he gathered with his disciples. The scriptures say they sang a hymn just before they left for the Garden of Gethsemane. Part of that hymn includes this phrase: 


“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints.” (Ps. 116:15). 


The word “precious" is defined as: of great value or highly esteemed or cherished.


By singing this hymn, Jesus put a divine benediction on the doctrine that the death of a good person is highly esteemed or cherished by the Lord. 


This provides us with a very different perspective on death. We are born to die. Death is a necessary step in our progression, a rite of passage. In the Lord's eyes, and in our family’s eyes, we know that my dad’s death was the crowning achievement of his mortal life - it is surely a day precious unto God. 


Similar perspective is found in Doctrine and Covenants 42 where the Lord stated:


" And it shall come to pass that those who die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them." (D&C 42:45-47).


When my dad breathed his last breath, his spirit separated from his body. I know this was a great relief to him since his body was tired and terribly weakened by his illness.


The body is important - but it is not our dad, grandpa, or great- grandpa. His body was a shell in which his spirit resided. His spirit is the thinking, feeling, eternally alive part of him. His spirit is perfect in appearance and form. At the moment of death, my dad stepped out of his mortal body and continued on to live in a different setting much like moving from one room to another.


As he entered the spirit world, I know he was undoubtedly met by his sweetheart, my mom - he was reunited with his parents, his sister, and other loved ones. This was a time of welcoming and happiness.


III. Spirit World


The spirit world is on this earth but we can't see it. There have been some people who have been permitted to glimpse momentarily into the spirit world, so we know some things about it.


We know that it is similar to this mortal sphere in many respects. My dad is happy to be moving forward and to be progressing. He is in a part of the spirit world called Paradise - where he is able to rest from the cares of the world and where he has overcome the tests of mortality (Alma 40:11-12). 


In my dad’s final moments, we watched him struggle to let go and even witnessed tears stream from his eyes as we, his children, gathered around him.  We know he felt some sadness to leave us behind and to be apart from us. But he now has an advantage that tempers this sadness. 

We know he can sometimes see us and be close. But because he also has important things to do, he can't spend all of his time looking in on us. While he will be busy doing many good deeds in the spirit world, I know at those special and necessary moments in our lives - moments when he surely would have been there in mortality - he will be there in spirit. 


He will be praying for us and he will be concerned when we are struggling. He will rejoice in our greatest triumphs, and he will ache with us in our greatest defeats. He is every bit as much a part of our family unit there in the spirit world, as he was here.


IV. Resurrection and Falling Short


In a very real sense, the death of a good person is like passing the final test on the last day of school. My dad is no longer being tested. He no longer has to suffer adversity, disease, temptation, discouragement, sadness and grief. He is at peace and has overcome the world. He will continue to learn, to grow and progress until the day of the resurrection, when his spirit will be reunited with a glorified and perfected, resurrected body.


All of us will be resurrected. We can merit all of the blessings of God, even though we are not perfect when we die. God is a God of mercy and will judge each of us according to the desires of our heart. He knows our struggles and the burdens we bear. He’ll judge us according to our thoughts, intents, and abilities; and He, in his infinite wisdom, will make all things right in due course. 


Conclusion:


I know these principles and doctrines are true. I know it with all my heart. My dad taught me and I have the assurance of these things that comes from the Holy Ghost.


I know the coming days, weeks, and years will be difficult. While time will heal this pain of separation, it will never go away. We will always miss our dad. But I hope we will be blessed with the knowledge that we will be reunited with our mom and dad and that we will be a family eternally. 


And in those lonely moments when we need it most, we will feel our parents love, sense they are nearby, and have the assurance they are still very much a part of our lives.


I know we will lean on each other. We will strive to follow our dad’s example and be obedient. We will take care of each other and we will rely on our faith. I know as we  “do this and joy … our hearts will swell - (and we will know) all is well- all is well.” 

October 11, 2017

Aunt Carole Passes Away




1940 ~ 2017
Ruth Carole Dorius Detamore of Salt Lake City passed away October 9, 2017, in Clearfield, UT following a long illness.
She was born January 16, 1940 in Washington DC to Earl N. and Ruth L. Dorius. She grew up in Northern Virginia and Salt Lake City attending Falls Church High School and graduating from East High School in Salt Lake. She later attended Santa Monica City College in California, and BYU. She married John David Allison (later divorced) then married John Payne Detamore on December 20, 1971. She was employed at Andrews and Hill Air Force Bases.
Carole is survived by her brother, Earl Fredric Dorius, a stepson John Les (Jill) Detamore, four stepgranddaughters, four nieces and two nephews. She was preceded in death by her parents and her husband John Detamore.
A private gathering of the immediate family will be held to honor Carole on a date yet to be determined. Buried, Salt Lake City Cemetery.
Published in Salt Lake Tribune from Oct. 14 to Oct. 15, 2017I saw my aunt Carole a few weeks ago and knew it would probably be our last visit. She passed away Monday. Today my dad, Ashley, Josh, & I cleaned out her room. It made me realize, once again, how grateful I am for my family. I am lucky to belong to a family that loves, supports, and serves. As we threw away "things" it is clear what really matters in life...  ðŸ’™ #families @ The Chancellor Gardens of Clearfield










September 10, 2013

An Eventful Week.

Monday September 2nd - was a nice & relaxing day.  
The kids were off school to celebrate Labor Day & we did next to nothing.
It was perfect.

Tuesday September 3rd - we learned Aaron's Grandpa Hollis died.
We were sad but knew he was ready to be reunited with his sweet wife Betty.
Aaron started making the arrangements to get to Reno Nevada for the funeral.

Wednesday September 4th - Hayden crashes his friend's dirt bike.
Click HERE for more details
We spent almost 6 hours at Primary Children's Hospital repairing his fingers. 
We sent Mackenzie home in my car to take care of Mackay.
Unfortunately, she hit the gas pedal instead of the brake and slams into the deep freezer & fridge.


Thursday September 5th - was exhausting. 
Hayden had cried most of the night in pain.  
I got Kenzie & Mackay off to school & was looking forward to a nap.
I got a call asking if Kenz wanted to be on ABC4 News to promote Radioactive Fest at 4:30 pm.
Of course she did.  Somehow we made it all work out.  It was a Blast!
Click HERE for more details

Friday September 6th - We left our kids & fly to Reno
Leaving Hayden with Manda and my dad.
Mackay with our friends the Allans.
Kenz with Jenn.
Aaron enjoyed walking around his grandparents home & remembering the good times. 


Saturday September 7th - was busy.
We attended the funeral of Grandpa Hollis.

Mackay hung out with his friend Zach & his pet 
then played a football game that we were sad to miss.  

Kenzie had a performance in Provo "Radioactive Fest" 
Click HERE for more details
Mackay joined them after his game & they fought a horrible rain storm on the way to Provo.
Thank you to the Allens for always supporting Kenzie.

She did get to meet the lead singer of Imagine Dragons, Dan Reynolds.

Sunday September 8th - we flew home & endured several delays 
& missed connecting flights.
My kids went to church like good kids.

Monday September 9th - started out great.  
Hayden tried to go to school (he made it until 1:30 pm)
I went to Costco.
But back on Wednesday night when Kenz hit the freezer... it got unplugged.
I spent the afternoon throwing away A LOT of food & cleaning up a stinky, sticky, gross mess.


Tuesday September 10th - Molly's been to the vet.
Mackay has already called me  - sick.  
I am ready for a "Time Out".
It's been an eventful week.