"You Prayed We'd Be Safe??"

We rotate saying prayers each morning. It was my turn today. I prayed that my kids would be safe from harm and that they would always protect and take care of each other. We all said "Amen" and they were out the door to catch the bus.

I began blow drying my hair when I heard someone struggling to open my front door. It was Mackay and Hayden (Kenz had left earlier). Mackay was trying to open the door while CARRYING Hayden.

Hayden had blood on his knee, hand, and dripping from his elbow. He was crying so Mackay explained that Hayden had tripped and fallen on the "hard part of the sidewalk" (as opposed to the soft side???). I began cleaning and bandaging Hayden's wounds as fast as I could (the bus hadn't come yet and I had errands to run...I am the worst mom). As I calmed Hayden, I noticed Mackay in his own world... he was shaking his head and blinking back tears.

Me: "Mackay, are YOU okay?"
Mackay: "Mom, you prayed we'd be safe???"
Me: "I also prayed that you would take care of each other."

He nodded, tried to smile, and then tried to wash Hayden's blood off of his shirt. The faith of a child.... I kissed them both. Thanked Mackay for "taking care of his brother" and told them to walk fast, not run, to the bus stop. (Phew... they made it.)

I have royally screwed up my blog format/design/layout/etc. After a few hours of trying, I still can't figure out how to fix it. I have to get Mackay to a birthday party now, so I will try again later.... Please don't judge me by the way this looks.... BUG!!!

Hallelujah -

Kenzie playing guitar & singing with her cute friend Madison Rigby.
Weird Delay on both videos. Darn.

Kenzie's Voice

Sometimes, Kenzie will sit in her room with her guitar and sing to the top of her lungs. Because her door is closed, she doesn't think we can hear her. But, we can. And I love it!!!

I don't know why it has a weird delay... Close you eyes... or it will drive you nuts.

My New Project...

Many of you know I LOVE to decorate!

Last weekend, Aaron announced he had a project for me. At first, I said "No thanks." Hearing the words: "I have a project for you" took me back to my childhood years. The project usually was to bag all the sticks outside (there is NOTHING worse then trying to bag twigs) or to weed "Florida" (a flowerbed shaped like the state of Florida - it felt like I was weeding the entire state when I was younger...). Then I reconsidered my answer and asked what the project was.

Re-do the Basement.

I had just been given a green light to purchase new furniture, wall hangings, decorations... whatever I wanted. You would have thought I had died and gone to heaven, right??? Instead, I was quiet. "What's wrong with the basement??" I like the basement.

So what if I have filled the basement with all the left-overs. Yes, the curio and matching sofa table that is dark wood with black swirly paint and gold brackets is a little OUT-DATED, but it holds items that mean something to me. Things that remind me of someone or someplace or some time in my life.

So what if the basement is a hodge-podge of different eras, different furniture sets, different styles of decorating. The colors pull it all together.

So what that the basement has that "newlywed" "poor dental student" "grateful to have any furniture" feel. It reminds us of the "good old days."

I thought the basement looked great, felt great, even smelled great - especially when you sit in the ivory recliner that my Grandpa (who was a closet smoker) used to sit in and watch golf aaaaaaall daaaaay loooooong. The smell of cigarettes make me think of him and how kind, generous, funny, and sneaky he was.

Then I came to my senses.

Saturday, I started my project. Aaron and I purchased a new dark brown leather sectional in the shape of a half circle. A coffee table with dark wood and ivory stone in the center. We bought a square dinner table and chairs with dark wood and black legs. I was excited!! I still didn't know how I wanted the finished project to look but I was excited.

Sunday, I started taking the mismatched items out of the out-dated curio and started the move into the storage room. The excitement all of the sudden turned to guilt or sadness or ... something. I had to hide a few times as my emotions got the best of me. I felt like I was boxing up all the people that have passed away and left me something special. I was somber and teary all day. Completely opposite of the day before. Monday, my heart still hurt. I got to the gym and chatted with Jenn for a few minutes and ended up walking to my car in a full bawl. What is my problem??

This project has turned out to be harder then I thought.

Busy with Traditions & Stuff

I feel like I have been running around like
a chicken with it's head cut off.

But when I try to reflect on what I have accomplished,
my mind goes blank....

My kids leave early in the morning and go happily.
I was so excited to have time to MYSELF.
Now, I feel like when I send them out the door,
the timer starts and the race begins...(tick, tick, tick...)

(Hayden's first bus ride)

Football is
EVERY STINKING NIGHT!!
Making sure he is there on time,
with gear, water, and ENERGY is exhausting.
But Mackay loves it, so I won't complain.
Now I know why my mom made sure I got my driver's license ON my 16th birthday. She was thrilled to put me in a car and tell me to drive myself to ballet class.

Last weekend, we had a Walkabout.
I took Fruit.
Photo is for my sisters - Come on - care...

This weekend was PAYSON!!
We have gone to "Onion Days" forever.
Years ago, we would park my grandparents "Mini-Wini" in front of the park and spend the day watching the parade & riding rides.
Now we spend the entire weekend, camped in the middle of a golf course.
We sit in the dirt, eat junk food, ride rides, catch up on everyone's latest, reminisce about MOM, play games, watch movies, read magazines, etc, etc.

Aaron, Hayden, and I enjoy the Quality Inn.
The Allens bring their motor-home. My dad and Roe bring the trailer (Kenzie has always borrowed a spot). And the Marsee/Moores, Adam & Steph, and Mackay pitch tents. (Mackay slept alone in his own tent this year. I was thrilled he was brave and didn't wake anyone up) Josh & Megan have twins now so they got a hotel in Provo this year.

While sitting in the dirt, we also:
drive a rented golf cart- thanks to Ash, shhhhhh...., get kicked off the golf course -thank you boys, walk a tight rope -thanks to Adam & Steph, have cartwheel contests - thanks again Ash, eat dutch oven Lasagna and Dump Cake (Aaron's fav part of Payson)- Thank you Jenn & Scott, and see which grandchild will eat the head off a gigantic beetle -thank you Hayden.
Payson isn't Payson without a "mishap".
Kenzie barfing, Tobe needing stitches, Kenz getting locked in a hot car (shhhhh....), Tanner, Josh, & Adam rolling a golf cart. This year a window in Grandpa's trailer shattered.
"Don't blame me, it was the winds fault!"

Lastly, Labor Day weekend is also my
Mom and Dad's Wedding Anniversary.

Two years ago, before my mom passed away, she wrote in a few cards for me to give to my dad.
She wrote 2 Anniversary cards and 1 Father's day card.
I gave him the 1st Anniversary card, Sept 4th 2008. Just 5 weeks after she died.
I gave him the Father's Day card in June of 2009.
I only had 1 left.

Selfishly, I struggled giving it away.
I have had it in my cupboard for over 2 years now.
It has his name written on it- in her hand writing.
To me it is a "message from heaven".
I had no idea what she wrote.
SHE purchased the cards.
SHE wrote in them.
And SHE sealed them.
I knew once I gave it to him, it would be the last
"message from heaven."

I have loved seeing her handwriting each time I opened my cupboard.
I loved knowing there was a message inside.
If I kept it, then she could still talk to us.
She still had one thing left to say.
If I kept it, then she isn't totally gone.
I didn't want to give it away.
...
But, it wasn't mine to keep.
It was a message for my dad.
It was short.
She reminded him of her love.
It was sweet!!
My mom's style has always been "short and sweet".
I miss her.

I hope you all enjoyed the holiday weekend
and spent time with your families
keeping traditions and making great memories!!